Answer to Question About Drug Addicted Son

I recently sent out an email about the power of visualization.

In a "PS" I asked a question.. Here is one f the answers I received:

to your question: What would you most want to use your powers of visualization to manifest?

to me, that have a teenager in drugs at home, i would love to see him healthy, happy and free of addictions. How could i manifest that?

i'm searching for the response within, reading whatever i could find in internet about personal accountability and self-growth, and seriously working to have myself improved, more loving, more understanding, more open-minded… but i would appreciate with my life if somebody out there has a response for it.

I'm not sure why i'm giving you this info or even replying to an email i know most likely it was tailored to be sent massively, but somehow i felt the question came directly to me, and to nobody else… and i had to respond from the hearth.

Bendiciones (Blessings)

My heart softened when I read this email.  Can you feel the authenticity and sincerity in this message?

And so the answer is actually in the question.  It is the same authenticity and sincerity that is expressed here that is also the solution to this problem.

I get many emails but I am highlighting this one because it so clearly expresses the dilemma in which so many of us find ourselves.

Our pain comes from the pain of a loved one.  And it seems we must change them in order to heal our own hearts.  Since we cannot change another, we feel powerless and stuck in an impossible situation.

I'd like to suggest a paradoxical two-part approach to this issue.  It is paradoxical because the two parts would seem to contradict each other.  But when you can find the harmony between them, you can move mountains.

The two parts of this approach are as follows:

  1. Accept your son exactly the way he is.  Love him unconditionally and do not try to change one thing about him.
  2. Envision your son exactly as you believe he would be in his true happiness and see it as true.  Ignore all evidence to the contrary and let him live in your heart as the happy, loving, loveable, free, joyful version of him that your heart knows.

You may be wondering how you can do both of these at the same time.  It is actually easier than you might think.

In your acceptance, you release resistance and you love him unconditionally.  You do not allow any behavior or appearance to have more power than your love for him.  Look at him, either with your eyes or in your mind, and systematically accept everything about him.  Love his hair and his clothes and the way his shoes look and the look in his eyes.  Find love in every aspect of him.

In order to do this you must give up your idea of the meaning of things and go directly to your love.

Once you have done this, step two becomes much easier.  Once you access your unconditional love for him in his present condition, you can easily see him happy and strong and independent in your mind.  You can see it because the love in your heart paints that picture easily.

You can see it like a cartoon that lives inside of him. It is a potential version of him and the more you see it, the more you strengthen it.  You bring it out in him by merely seeing it and relating to it.

And the best part is that since you are totally accepting of him as he is, there is no resistance in your vibration.

Miracles come of this.

Thank you for writing.

I wish you love,
Rebbie

9 thoughts on “Answer to Question About Drug Addicted Son

  1. What a great way of giving people advice. I feel that what you say is really going to happen if you do all the staps.
    I wish this mother very much love, strength and believe that this is going to end like she visualize it.

  2. Thank you, Rebbie for your insight. I also am dealing with a close family member who has alcohol addiction. I have been reading on opening my heart, and learning to love unconditionally, which has really reflected a change in me! It still isn't easy…and I am still struggling with it, just as my family member is still struggling with alcohol. Things are better though, and I have hopes for things to keep improving.Regardless, I love this person, and know that as I am not perfect, no one else is, and we all need love and hope.
    Thanks again.

  3. Rebbie: Thank-you for posting this beautiful, wise and loving (and amazingly timely for me!) question and response. To the mother- I give you a big hug and I can tell you that Rebbie's words to you are true..if you can cultivate the energy of Trust…trust that in time he will be ok, trust that this is his journey and that he has the inner resources to find his way, trust that staying in your own place of inner well-being you are the most help to him you can be, trust that there already IS a place inside him where he is fundamentally ok and always will be and that by connecting with that place within yourself and within him in your own mind, you are helping him grow. A lot of this is internal, but he will hear that trust in your voice. When we approach them from the place of love and trust and treat them like we would treat an old and trusted friend, rather than someone that we are responsible for or need to guide and direct, they are more open to us. Sometime part of their journey IS to turn away, for reasons we don't know, but again, to trust, to remember that innocent child and that complete and open and vulnerable love that flowed between you. If you are like me, you will slip back and forth a bit, between fear and trust, between hope and despair. The thing is, when you fall into the place of fear and worry, do your internal work (EFT, whatever works) on your own. When you feel trusting and safe and hopeful, THAT is the time to touch base with them. You can even be honest with them about your feelings, but you are doing it from a place of being grounded in trust and love, rather than a place of fear. It is a fine distinction but it makes a difference. Also remember: as moms we feel on some level that we are responsible for our children's outcomes- we can't help it because it is a carry over from when they needed us to feed and shelter them in order to survive. But as they get older they are really children of God and the Universe and if we can sit tight, the help, the miracles often come from someplace else besides us. So if we can trust that the universe is also working on our child's behalf, we can take some of the weight off. We are really just bit players, even though they take up so much space in our own hearts!
    In all of this I am talking to my own self, too! Take good care, all the best to you!
    Jacqui

  4. Thank you so much for replying to this request for support for a child in distress. And thank you for the steps for achieving the desired outcome. The more I look at the issues my loved ones are dealing with the more I am drawn to Ho'oponopono. What is it in my own makeup that I am manifesting this distress in another? I am sorry. Please forgive me, Thank you. I love you.

  5. This reminds me of 2 things.
    How my mother (who was a beautiful, graceful, gentle soul) must have felt when her son took his own life. (his life was unbearable for him). As the soul we come in to learn our lessons. Alas we forgot this and when life gets too painful for some, they remove themselves from this life. This is no ones failure it is simply, that the – incarnate spirited human being, has not made contact or loses contact with his soul purpose.
    Also reminded of the works of the Prophet Kahill Kibran
    "Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you.
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls.
    For their souls dwell in the hours of tomorrow,
    Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
    Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness.
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies.
    So he loves also the bow that is stable."

    I was fortunate enough to introduced to this when my daughter was three months old and have often referred back to this as she grew into her beautiful self – and has now flown the nest to forge her own path.

    Ho'ponopono is sooooooo splendid also. Use it often.
    Namaste

  6. Ho'oponopono video:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff8DkTo9TtQ&NR=1

    I have read your post several times, Rebbie, and the line that speaks to me most is this, "You do not allow any behavior or appearance to have more power than your love for him." It appears to be so obvious, but it is the most challenging aspect of this process for shifting my energy towards healing.

    The image I get is this. When I'm looking at any of my family members and am irritated or disappointed or sad at their behavior in life, towards me, or towards each other, if I focus on my love for that individual, I will strengthen the love rather than the distress. It jumps out at me every time I read it. It's something to watch out for. …for me at least.

    Thank you again for sharing your wisdom. It's your stating the obvious in a way that I can hear it that I appreciate so much.

  7. Rebbie

    thanks a lot for your response, there are no words that could describe how i feel, but i can tell you that i cried when reading it, receiving it as the blessing that it is, and read and cried many times since then. grateful tears, cleaning the worries away because i have a direction now…

    i thank God for technology,and for you being there. I prayed for a path and God gave me the response by email!

    Also, i thank all the encouraging comments on this blog, they are received as blessings too. I'm listening (reading) and putting the directions in my hearth's GPS 🙂 i feel, here, very deep, that this is right, and that everything is fine if i'm fine, and I AM fine now, praying and working in myself, and playing "I love being me" whenever i feel a sign of doubt (it works!).

    THANKS a lot, God bless you

  8. Rebbie

    quick update: son came some weeks ago and told me "I'm bored of doing nothing, I want to go back to school". Now he is back in school and tackling the task as a PRO. hundred things happened between your advice and this chat, but i wanted to thank you for the words "just love him", IT WORKS!!!

    I love being me 🙂

    GRACIAS

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