Dealing with negative people: This seems to be one of the biggest challenges for those who are working with Law of Attraction.
After all, It’s a whole unique skill you’re developing: to mind your vibration. It really is a practice. You’re busy paying attention to your inner guidance and you keep modulating your vibration to bring yourself into greater and greater joy. Or maybe to simply bring yourself up from despair or upset.
Either way, you’re working on it, right?
And maybe you’re chugging along, feeling better, little by little, and then boom. You encounter someone who is giving their full attention to something not wanted. They are really in it and they’re looking for a response from you.
That’s When the Gears Grind
They are doing exactly the opposite of what you are working on.
You feel yourself tense up. Your mind starts spinning. You don’t want to judge, and you’ve learned not to try to “help” when they are not asking for it. Usually when you try to help someone who is not asking for help, by overlaying your perspective, they tend to feel judged. It can feel to them like you perceive them as needing to be “fixed” and like you are trying to change them.
This is a subtle point, but often your authentically good intentions can end up backfiring. You can actually become a new problem for that person to complain about! Has this ever happened to you?
So there you are, not knowing what to say or do. You don’t want to stay in the conversation of their negative focus, but you don't want to leave because this person matters to you…You freeze — like a deer in the headlights.
What to Do?
Here are 3 things you can do, right at that moment. They are all based on you taking 100% responsibility for your experience. And so they all carry you further toward your empowerment, freedom, and enbrightenment
1 – If you decide to leave the conversation, you can do it this way:
Express your love for them and your compassion for what they are going through. Tell them that you don’t want to add to the problem so you’re going to go do something you’ve learned that can help in situations like this. (Here you are offering help but you are doing it yourself. You are not trying to “change” them – you are not implying that they are broken and need to be fixed – so you run no risk of being perceived as a problem.) Remove yourself from the energy of the upset. Sit for a few minutes and write about, or visualize, that person as he or she wants to be. See them, describe them, and create the mental template of them in their joy, power, and full resolution of their problem.
By doing this, you offer a strong vibration that they can resonate with. As they do, consciously or unconsciously, they begin shifting their point of attraction. They begin manifesting the solution to their problem. This is a way that you can be of true service while also cultivating your own joy and connection to your inner guidance.
2 – If you decide to stay in the conversation, you can do it this way:
With each negative spewing you encounter, notice your reaction. Feel where the tensing is in your body and deliberately relax it. Take a moment to honor the Divine spark in that person. Do whatever it takes to have compassion for the humanity in that person. Take a moment to comprehend that their negativity is evidence of their pain and be an energetic font of relief and comfort for this person. Yes, even if they are being negative toward you. Even if they are blaming you for something! At the very least you will transform yourself and your point of attraction so that you are less likely to encounter these moods in others. Beyond that, you can be doing a great service for the other person as you silently, lovingly, energetically help them out of there conundrum through the invisible power of your compassion.
3 – Whether you stay or go, you can also do this:
Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian form of healing that you can call upon in this situation. In a nutshell, as you encounter this negativity in the other person, you take 100% responsibility for the presence of their pain in your consciousness. (Pause here and take a moment to really get that!) You recognize their problem as yours because they are experiencing this upset in the space of your awareness.
Then you offer these words to the Divine:
"I love you. I’m sorry . Please forgive me. Thank you."
Repeat this as a mantra. This simple yet profound practice sends a gentle, harmonious vibration from you to your world. It cleans your energy field and opens the space for the good you desire.
Find the Gift in It
Other people’s negativity is always an opportunity for you to work on yourself. Your encounter with it gives you a glimpse into a region of your own being where there is conflict. When you accept the offering and work with it, you shift yourself into a new realm of empowered living. So, the next time you find yourself tensing up in response to someone’s negative focus, find the gift in it. Use any or all of these three approaches. There’s an old expression: The situation is the guru. This is a great opportunity for transformation.